Dissolve Barriers and Cultivate Confidence

by: Kris Kirilova

Kris is a counselor & owner of Career Life Choices – a counseling practice in Arlington Heights, IL.

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hills

If you are not happy in your current job and lack the confidence to make a change, you are not alone.  Many people are stuck in dead-end jobs and underestimate their ability to make a change in their life. Our beliefs, self-talk and expectations determine what careers we pursue, who we become, and what we accomplish in work and life. Sometimes we may be sabotaging our chances for success, and other times we may be disoriented or confused as to what we desire to change.

What happens to your dreams and goals when you don’t have the confidence or feel pessimistic?

Most often, people postpone or tend to give up when they experience a temporary setback or faced with discouragement. So recognize what you inner critic is telling you and whether these thoughts are helpful.

Use these tips to let go of negative patterns, build your confidence, and identify areas that bring more meaning to your life:

  • First, spend some time reflecting on yourself and your experiences to explore your insecurities. Is your work affecting you in a negative way? Is it a temporary setback? Learn to see obstacles and challenging events as an opportunity to learn and grow. While negative events are never pleasant, they are turning points – pushing us to begin the change process.
  • To succeed, you must believe! Believe in yourself and your abilities to succeed!
  • Ask yourself these questions: What do you need to feel happy and empowered? What keeps you from pursuing your personal and professional goals?  Get in touch with your ideal self, and answer the questions- “Who do you really want to be?” Not just what careers you want to pursue but you who you want to become as a person? The idea is to brainstorm different options and remove any self – imposed limits on what you can do. If your ideal and current self are not in sync, think about in what areas you are excited to grow.
  • Replace your dis-empowering beliefs with new beliefs that support you in the direction you want to grow. When was the last time you felt in alignment with yourself – what were you doing? Focus on your past accomplishments and successes. Write down your strengths and experiences you are proud of. Leverage your strengths to cover for some of your gaps.

Remember “Success is achieved by developing our strengths, not by eliminating our weaknesses”. – Marilyn vos Savant

  • Use positive self-talk and visualization to see yourself as you have already achieved your goals. You don’t have to be the most talented person in your field, but you have to believe in your ability to achieve.
  • Sometimes you may not feel comfortable leaving your comfort zone but growth happens when you are outside of your comfort zone, and allow room for something new to enter your life. Start experimenting with new behaviors, and be open to trying out new things.
  • Expand your support network and surround yourself with positive people that naturally encourage and support your dreams and goals. It is difficult to accomplish things alone, and the support of others is crucial in this process.

I believe in your ability to succeed! I know that it takes planning, self-determination, persistence and hard work. If you condition your mind for success, your chances of success and change dramatically increase.

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