Midlife: 6 Ways to Improve your Mindset

midlife counseling

by: Kris Kirilova

Kris is a counselor & owner of Career Life Choices – a counseling practice in Arlington Heights, IL.

Midlife has arrived, bringing with it a mix of unease and tension as you contemplate the next chapter. The realization that the clock is ticking becomes more real, along with the awareness of dreams left unexplored and subtle changes in our appearance that leave us questioning their significance.

I recently had the privilege of counseling a bright and educated woman in her 40s who, despite her pleasant personality, found herself in a regretful state about aging and still on the quest for an ideal partner. The blues about her age permeated her overall perspective on life. At work, she grappled with fitting in among her younger colleagues, raising concerns about the opportunities available to her given her age. For her, midlife had taken on a negative connotation—a time of decline rather than renewal.

However, midlife can be a transformative period, an opportunity to examine motivations, gain wisdom from experiences, and replenish energy. It’s a chance to birth something new, take courageous steps towards a new lifestyle, cultivate new friendships, or enhance overall well-being.

Most importantly, don’t let age to put limits on what you do in your life.

Here are six steps to guide you through this transformative journey:

1. Explore Your Beliefs about Aging: Challenge societal expectations and cultural norms surrounding age. Recognize that people have successfully made significant changes, embarked on new paths, healed from past disappointments, changed careers, and found new partners well into midlife and beyond.

2. Explore Yourself: Reflect on the person you’re becoming and what you want from life. While cosmetic treatments may enhance physical features, consider how they align with your overall well-being and self-esteem. Will they empower you to pursue your dreams with more courage?

3. Rejuvenate Your Mind and Spirit: Acknowledge and listen to your emotions. Reflect on past choices, express and shift emotions like grief and bitterness, allowing yourself to flourish.

4. Nurture Your Mind and Body: Consider walking away from a demanding job or creating work-life balance. Discover what brings you joy and pleasure. Be open to new possibilities, whether it’s learning new things, joining communities, or making new friends. Pursue hobbies or interests you’ve always wanted to explore.

5. Adopt an Ageless Mindset: Reject the notion that age diminishes your value. Embrace an ageless mindset, focusing on living a meaningful life regardless of your age. Enhance your beauty by caring for your body and mind, updating your wardrobe, and adopting new styles.

6. Honor Your Strengths and Wisdom: Recognize the strengths, wisdom, and valuable experience gained through the years. While concerns about age in the workplace may arise, seek fields that appreciate a mature appearance and align with your talents and interests.

As you stand at the threshold of the next chapter, acknowledge any fears and doubts that may arise. Instead of letting them limit you, consider how counseling can help you explore new ways of being. Act from a place of self-acceptance and courage, recognizing that your best years can be ahead of you when you invest in self-care and nurture your mind. Are you ready to imagine and create your next fulfilling chapter?

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